Hey all: Here is the promised video clip of my first tissue expander fill on Thursday. Remember that Maria only filled the right breast with saline. The brown stuff is iodine to sterilize my skin.
Tissue expander fill #1 video
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Tissue expander fill #1
Yesterday I had my first tissue expander fill at Dr. Festekjian’s office.
For those of you who still aren’t sure of how the breast reconstruction process following a mastectomy works, here’s a rundown: after Dr. Karam performed the mastectomy (removing all breast tissue) portion of my surgery on March 13th, Dr. Festekjian came in to insert saline tissue expanders underneath a layer of my pectoral muscles. These tissue expanders are essentially little baggies that create a pocket in the muscle. They have a needle port on top, and over time, additional saline is inserted so that the baggie and the pocket can grow. Once the tissue expander has been filled enough and the muscle pocket is large enough, the tissue expander is removed and a permanent silicone implant is inserted into the pocket.
During my initial surgery, Dr. Festekjian put about 300 ccs of saline into each tissue expander. This is a pretty decent amount of saline, so when I woke up from my surgery, I actually had breasts–yes, they were small, an A cup, but there was still something there on my chest.
Yesterday Dr. Festekjian took a look at both sides. I was concerned because my left breast seems to be bigger than the right. It had only started to look like that a few days after my drains were removed, so I was worried that I had a fluid buildup. Dr. Festekjian said that there was no fluid (yes! The evil fluid, defeated!) but that the tissue on the left was “still a little pissed off” (wise words) and that it was swelling. He decided to expand only the right side, in order to make them match a bit more appearance-wise but also to let the left side heal more.
Maria, one of the RN’s in Dr. Festekjian’s office who is pretty much awesome (she removed my drains last Monday), did the fill. Sidenote: I really like Maria. She is very understanding and has a lot of patience. I took some before and after pictures, a picture of the tools, and also a video of the fill happening. Since I have to run to work right now, I’m only going to post the pictures.
These are the tools that are used for the tissue expander fill: the giant plastic syringe is where the saline goes, and the little green needle is what is actually inserted into the skin. The two connect at the top of the needle, and the saline is slowly pushed through the syringe into the needle and then into the tissue expander.
Before going to talk to another patient, Dr. Festekjian used a magnetic device to “locate” the tissue expander port through my skin. He then marked it with blue ink–“X marks the spot”, redefined! He disinfected my skin with some sort of brown substance, I think it was iodine. He then made sure I was OK with Maria performing the fill. He said he could do it himself, but I was already scheduled to see Maria the following Thursday for my second fill and I totally trust her, so I was fine with it.
The fill itself did not hurt, but I felt the needle prick for sure. That was the worst part (as it always is). I thought I would be able to feel the saline going into my tissue expander and making my muscle tighten, but I didn’t feel it at all. Maria was very slow and steady with the saline syringe.
She inserted 75 ccs of saline, removed the needle and then put a bandage over my skin where the needle had been. I could see a difference in that my breast didn’t look as droopy. I took a before and after picture, but since I have my bra on for both it’s kind of hard to tell. The biggest difference you can see is the fact that my bra doesn’t look as saggy.
On the left: before the expansion. On the right: after the expansion. Note that only the right side (in this case, looking at me, the left side) was expanded.
I thought I would be in pain after the fill. A lot of women experience tightness (from the muscle stretching) and have to take pain meds. It’s been almost 24 hours and I haven’t felt any pain at all.
My next fill is going to be next Thursday. Fingers crossed that I get both sides expanded! Jeani, Dr. Festekjian’s wonderful assistant, booked me for my next five fill appointments, every Thursday starting yesterday. We’re not sure I’ll need that many, but it’s nice to have them planned out.
I’m happy now. This process is really happening! My reconstruction is starting!
Well, it’s been over four weeks since my mastectomy!
I apologize for not writing for some time. Life has been busy! But busy in an oddly normal way. Aside from the slight difference in my appearance, most everything seems to have returned to the way things were before my surgery. I went back to work last Tuesday, I’ve been going to class, and I’ve been out and about with my friends and family. The only thing is that I’m feeling fatigued and I want to know WHY! (More mention of that towards the end of the post.)
On Wednesday the 4th my sister Wendy visited us from Boston with my niece and nephew (ages 13 and 15, respectively). It was awesome seeing them. I have six nieces and nephews (and I love ’em all!) but have always regarded Matthew and Nicole as my younger siblings. I lived in Boston when they were born and I grew up with them.
Thursday the 5th was my 22nd birthday. I had work and class, so instead of rushing out to Redondo Beach after class at 8 pm to try to get dinner with my family, I decided to go out in nearby downtown Los Angeles with my friends. It was really great: not only did I enjoy everyone’s company, I also felt so normal! Danielle let me borrow a really cute crop top and I paired it with a black high-waisted skirt. No one could tell that I had recently had surgery.
Here’s a pic of B Boy and me on my birthday. We started the night at the rooftop bar at the Standard. Please note Marissa photobombing in the background.
During that awful weekend before my drains were removed I was concerned that my drain site was infected. Maria from Dr. Festekjian’s office said she might put me on antibiotics, but I cautioned her that my birthday was later that week and that I would prefer not to be on medication. Luckily I didn’t have an infection, so I was OK to drink on my birthday! My friends bought me some pretty delicious drinks (birthday cake shots and mojitos, anyone?) All in all it was a very successful night.
On Friday evening my parents, sister, niece, nephew, Bryce and I all went to the Melting Pot in Torrance to have a birthday/pre-graduation celebration. My birthday was on April 5th; Bryce’s 23rd birthday was on April 10th; and my nephew Matthew’s 16th birthday is on April 14th. We’ve got an abundance of Aries! Dinner was delicious but very filling.
Last night (April 10th) we went out to dinner for Bryce’s 23rd birthday.
The next day we met up with the Berkeley Cuzzins who had driven down the night before to spend time with fam. The cousins are: Marc, Naura and their two kids, Julia (16) and Charles (14). All of the kids (Matthew, Nicole, Julia and Charles) descended on USC on Saturday morning so I could show them around the campus. They’re starting to think about college, so it’s important that I brainwash them and make them want to go to my alma mater.
They really liked USC, especially the tour of the Frat Row…why am I not surprised? After USC we visited Venice Beach, a place I affectionately like to call the Berkeley of the Sea. Venice Beach is amazing. I love to see the reactions that people have to it. The boys LOVED it–they thought it was hilarious. The girls, on the other hand, were slightly weirded out by it.
After Venice Beach I was exhausted. Really, really, REALLY tired. I’m not sure if it was because it was hot outside (about 85 degrees) and we were walking around all day, or because I’m not as recovered from surgery as I thought I was, or both. The next day (Easter) I was still pretty tired too. I went to Bryce’s house for a late lunch and by 7 pm I had passed out upstairs.
So that leads me to the point of this post: when will everything be back to normal? Not to toot my own horn, but I look great after surgery. I feel chipper and if you ran into me on the street, you might never know what had happened. But there are times when I just feel exhausted! And I don’t know why. Are the activities I’m doing really that tiring, or is my body still in recovery mode?
I am itching to get back to my spin classes. I almost went to a class yesterday afternoon at YAS in downtown LA. At the last minute, I decided to email Jeani at Dr. Festekjian’s office to ask her opinion. She talked to Dr. Festekjian and told me to hold off on spinning until I see Dr. Festekjian again and can get his blessing in person.
I was disappointed…I really need the cardio workout! I feel like such a slug. But at the same time, I don’t want to rush it. What if my fatigue really does have to do with my surgery? Spinning might make me feel great for a few hours, but I would feel awful if something happened to jeopardize my tissue expanders and I knew it was because I had pushed myself too hard, too early.
Tomorrow morning at 10 am I have an appointment with Dr. Festekjian to get my first tissue expander fill. Hopefully he’ll give me the OK to go back to spinning. I think I’ll also post some “before and after” pics from my fill (rated G, I promise!)
I’m looking forward to getting the show on the road, but I hope the fill doesn’t hurt. Does anyone have any advice for making it as comfortable as possible?
Check out these ADORABLE cake pops that my friend Kate sent me last week! So yummy and so cute.
One week out from my mastectomy: my notes
So around this time last week (March 13th) I was waking up from my prophylactic double mastectomy in the recovery room at Ronald Reagan Hospital at UCLA. Later posts will describe that day and the next few days, but for now I thought I’d take the time to reflect on how I’m feeling one week after the procedure.
My pain level is doable.
I really, really thought I would be in excruciating, I-can-barely-take-it-anymore-just-kill-me-now kind of pain. Reading other people’s accounts online and having witnessed my mom’s own recovery from her mastectomy made me think that pain would be a big part of my life for the next month or so. In reality, this isn’t the case. Yes, it hurts. But it’s more of an uncomfortable feeling. Right now I am sitting in bed with a wedge pillow behind me, laptop on my lap (as it should be!) and I don’t feel any pain.
In the morning I usually feel the most pain when waking up, but I just take some pain meds (in the beginning it was oxycodone; now I’ve weaned myself onto Tylenol). The pain I have is best described as a heavy tightness. Sometimes moving in a certain direction triggers this “tightness” because it seems to put a strain on my chest muscles. I feel pain more, interestingly, when I have tighter clothes on; sometimes I can’t deal with the tightness of the mastectomy bra and have to switch into something loose.
The drains are much more than I bargained for.
If you read my post from earlier this morning, you’ll know that I am not on good terms with my drains. They’ve done nothing particularly rude to me: I have no infections and they don’t hurt. But they are just annoying and tedious to deal with, factors I did not bank on before I went in for the surgery.
I never considered how limiting they would be for my wardrobe. Yes, I knew I would have to stock up on button-up or zip-up tops, but it doesn’t stop there. I need to consider my drains, these two oafish looking things hanging from my body. Tonight, for example, my parents, boyfriend and I are going to a nice restaurant, a possible venue for my grad party. No one wants to see my drains while they eat. And I also want to look nice (for once). Boy, it’s going to be fun to dress for that!
I’m not stuck in bed.
I was pretty sure this would be the case, but I didn’t want to take any chances so I stocked up on movies and reading material in case I was too weak to get out of bed. While I was mostly in my bed for the two days at the hospital, by the time I got home, my pain level had subsided enough that I could move myself out of bed without much help. The key was to almost rock my body upwards, using my abs. You gain enough momentum and suddenly you’re standing!
I putz around the house often and I’m self-sufficient. Sure, if I am in bed and I’ve dropped something on the ground and a parent happens to walk by, I’m not above asking him/her to pick the item up. But I’ve done pretty much everything on my own. Today, for example, I watched my hair by myself.
That being said, however, I am getting really restless.
While I’m by no means an athletic person, I am normally very active. I love to walk for exercise, and lately I’ve been going to spin classes at a few local studios. Not exercising–or being active at all–is driving me crazy. Yesterday I actually went on a 2-mile walk with my mom. I am going to go on another one after I finish up this post. My drain output hasn’t changed because I’ve been more active, and I’m not using my upper body, so what harm is there in it?
I’m surprisingly OK with not showering.
Normally I shower once a day. In the last few months, I’ve taken to trying to wash my hair less, so sometimes I don’t shower every day. In the last week, I haven’t showered once. And I’m not feeling too awful about it.
The Monday night before my surgery I took a really long shower. My mom braided my hair after. Definitely a wise choice, as it kept my hair cleaner and made it easier to deal with when I was in the hospital.
On Friday afternoon I went to a salon and had my hair washed and put into two french braids.
This morning I finally decided I’d wash my hair on my own. Aside from the fact that I looked like the MGM lion after I brushed it out before washing, it was relatively clean.
My lion mane after brushing out the french braids.
To keep my body fresh and clean, I’ve been using disposable pre-soaped wash clothes. Super easy and mess-free.
I’ve accepted how I look right now.
I really thought I’d be depressed by my appearance at this time. But I’m not…which is great. I think I’m still a bit surprised by the fact that I’m not completely flat. During surgery, my plastic surgeon filled my tissue expanders up to 300 ccs each so I’m about a large A-cup right now. That’s still a big difference from the C I was before, but I don’t mind it terribly. It’s kind of fun, the idea that I can “try out” different body shapes. Right now I am truly a bottom curvy, pear-shaped girl.
Perhaps part of my anxiety about my appearance that I experienced before the surgery was associated with the waiting. But once it was done…well, it was done! Things can only get–and more importantly, can only look–better from here.
Ticking Time Bombs 