Monthly Archives: December 2012

Wrapping up 2012 and welcoming 2013

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Hi friends! I hope you all had a great holiday, whatever you celebrate. Over here at the law firm of Horn, Horn & Horn, we celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas.

It’s been more than a month since my implant exchange surgery, and I am much happier with how the implants have settled in. There is still some difference in nipple height, but I think the breasts have evened out  in size and look much more similar.

People have asked me what size I am now. The answer? 14.2 cm 800 cc–duh, obviously.

Don’t worry. I get it. Unless you’re Dr. Festekjian, that means nothing to you. It doesn’t really mean much to me, either. While Christmas shopping at Target a few weeks ago, I bought a cheap bra on a whim. I tried on three different sizes: 36C, 36D, and 38D. The 38D bra fit the best, so right now that’s my size, but I will go to a professional to be fitted soon. (And FINALLY use the Victoria’s Secret gift card my dear friend Anna gave me right after my mastectomy–whoohoo!)

I’ve been dressing up a lot and I love it. If you know me offline, you know that I prefer comfort over style. My weekend uniform consists of yoga pants, a tank top, and sneakers. Sometimes I shake things up with a sweatshirt if I’m feeling daring (or cold). But since I have these brand spankin’ new boobs, I’ve been looking for an opportunity to show them off! Luckily, this holiday season did not let me down.

At the beginning of December, I went to Vegas for my sorority sister Cami’s bachelorette party.  My favorite thing about going anywhere with sorority sisters is that we all share clothes. On Friday night, I wore one of Jennifer’s dresses and I actually had CLEAVAGE for the first time since March! Sorry, Bryce.

The next weekend was my company’s holiday party at the SLS Hotel in Beverly Hills. It was amazing. There were EEL TACOS. EEL FREAKIN’ TACOS. I used that magical Forever 21 gift card to buy a cute strapless dress for the party, and I even got to wear my giant heels because Bryce is 9 1/2 feet tall!

SLS hotel party

“Hey Bryce, how’s the weather up there?”

AND THEN…Cami and her fiance Nick got married this past Saturday! Their wedding was at the Balboa Bay Club in Newport Beach. It was a small, intimate ceremony. Cami looked beautiful! Nick is a lucky man.

I wore the pink dress I wore to my graduation dinner in May. The only difference was that this time I had two boobs! Last time I had one tissue expander and one falsie. I think I prefer the two boobs.

Sorority sisters! From left to right: Jennifer, Marissa, Cami, Danielle, Rachel, Nora

Sorority sisters! From left to right: Jennifer, Marissa, Cami, Danielle, Rachel, Nora

Clearly, I’ve come a long way in my crazy mastectomy journey. But it’s not over yet. I like my implants now. I think they are a good size and they look and feel natural. However, I’m not in love with them.

Should I go back to Dr. Festekjian and ask him to do more work on them? Maybe. Probably. But even then, I won’t be IN LOVE with them. Because I am not IN LOVE with the rest of my body! Until I am completely happy with how everything else looks, I’ll never be 100% satisfied with my implants.

So 2013 is going to be about changing my body the difficult way…without plastic. I’ve struggled with my weight all my life. (Literally, all my life. I learned over Christmas that I weighed over NINE POUNDS when I was born. HOLY SHIT.) Anyway, 2012 was one of those struggle times because of the mastectomy. Now it’s time to get back into shape.

"Stop right now, ma'am! Put the spoon down and back away slowly."

“Stop right now, ma’am! Put the spoon down and back away slowly.”

Here are some of my goals for the new year:

  • Develop some upper body strength. If my arms look toned, my implants will look better. I am going to keep seeing my physical therapist Jenni to learn how to do this safely.
  • Get my abs back. Believe it or not, for the first half of high school, my stomach was really toned. I did Pilates all the time and it really worked! Then, for whatever reason, I stopped. And on came the flab.
  • Get back into spinning. It’s my favorite workout, because it’s effective, and everyone looks like shit afterwards. I know that sounds harsh, but I’m a sweater; no, not a cardigan–someone who sweats a LOT. I hate working out at the gym next to girls with immaculate hair and makeup who look amazing the entire time. NO ONE looks good after 45 minutes on the stationary bike at a spin class.
  • In addition to spinning, I want to try more cardio. I am going to join a local gym, probably the YMCA, and I plan to take advantage of the classes offered. Dance Aerobics and Zumba both sound pretty fun to me.
  • Eat out less and cook more (good for the waistline and the wallet!). I need to learn how to cook and be more adventurous with my meals. A few weeks ago, a friend made Bryce and me enchiladas for dinner. He put spinach and mushrooms in mine because I’m a vegetarian. They were DELICIOUS. I would have never thought to put spinach in an enchilada…it was life-changing
  • Buy a castle.
  • Appear on Jeopardy.
  • Win Jeopardy.

I’m not sure yet how I am going to measure my success. My friend at work, Garineh, had a similar New Year’s resolution for 2012.  She wrote a blog post on eHow with tips for keeping a resolution. I’ll develop my actual numerical goals based on some of her advice.

One thing is for sure: once I meet my goals, I will have Michelle Obama’s arms, Gwen Stefani’s abs, Wolfgang Puck’s skills, and Warren Buffett’s wealth. (Yeah, that’s how often I eat out now and how much I plan to win on Jeopardy!) Oh and this castle.

What are your goals/resolutions for 2013? Happy new year, everyone!

Settling down, physical therapy, and a little bit of Pam Anderson

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Let me start with a huge THANK YOU to the wonderful people who congratulated and endorsed me for the WeGo Health Rookie of the Year Award. Your kind words, thoughts and support always make me grateful. Nominations end December 31, and judging follows shortly. I will keep you all posted, and if you would like to endorse me or share my endorsement link with someone else, here’s the URL: http://badges.wegohealth.com/endorse-me?referrer=f7fq%22

It’s been exactly three weeks since the “big unveiling” after my implant exchange surgery. You’ll remember that I was less than pleased with what I saw in the mirror: my left nipple seemed to be about twelve feet higher than my right nipple, and all together the left breast appeared much smaller and tighter. I never thought I’d end up with a rack like Pam Anderson’s after the surgery, but I also didn’t think I’d end up looking like a little kid playing dress up with socks and tissues in her mommy’s old bra.

Hey…I’m a vegetarian too…maybe my boobs WILL end up looking like Pam’s after all!

Dr. Festekjian told me to give it time to settle, even going so far as to suggest that I STOP thinking about my breasts for a while. Fat chance, Dr. Festekjian.

Well I have to give the man credit–he was right. The left breast has settled a lot, looking rounder and less tight, and the nipples are also much more even. Dr. Festekjian said to wait two months, but it’s not even one month after the surgery and I can already see a big difference!

I guess he does know a thing or two about plastic surgery. He’s more than a pretty face, you know.

At my post-op appointment after the implant exchange surgery, he wrote me a prescription for physical therapy. I researched offices in the area that accept my insurance and landed on a place nearby called Women’s Physical Therapy.

In addition to standard sessions with physical therapists, Women’s Physical Therapy offers massage therapy, Pilates and yoga. They specialize in breast cancer rehabilitation, including post-reconstruction.

My first appointment was Tuesday, December 4. I met with a PT named Jenni. As it was an introductory session, we spent a fair amount of time discussing my mastectomy, complications, and ultimately reconstruction, as well as my goals (get strong in a healthy, safe way) and current exercise plan. Then she took some baseline measurements and stretched me out. The stretching was almost like an upper-body massage; she did a lot of kneading. Knowing that my left implant needs to drop and settle, she showed me stretches I can do at home to help.

Jenni then assigned me some resistance band exercises to work my triceps, biceps and shoulders. I’m supposed to do them every night, and right now they are so simple (just one set of 10 reps) that it takes less than five minutes.

I’ve met with Jenni twice, and I also had an appointment with the Pilates instructor, AnnaLisa. In high school I did mat Pilates DVDs all the time. (Side note: if you are ever in the market for a Pilates DVD, pick an Ana Caban series. AVOID MARI WINSOR LIKE THE PLAGUE SHE IS SO ANNOYING.) This Pilates session was NOTHING like the Pilates I remember! Nope…there was no Seal, no Corkscrew…not even a measly Roll-Up!

Instead AnnaLisa had me focus on very small movements using my muscles in ways I’ve never tried. There was no cardio involved, yet I felt like I did get some sort of a workout. It wasn’t easy! Who knew drawing circles in the air with my elbows could be so tiring? Oy, I was exhausted after!

After my sessions I’ve felt a bit sore, but it’s not alarmingly painful. It’s almost more of a pleasant indicator that the sessions are working and that my upper body muscles are being stretched out and strengthened just a little bit each day.

I have another session with a physical therapist on Friday, and then a few more next week. My schedule is spotty since I signed up with the office so late in the year and I can only stop by in the early morning or late afternoon. Hopefully I’ll be able to set up a steady plan for 2013.

Speaking of 2013, what’s everyone doing for New Year’s and the holidays? Bryce and I are going up to Yosemite for Christmas, where we’ll see my parents and my cousin Justin. Then we’ll be celebrating New Year’s in Redondo Beach. But before all that there’s my company holiday party this Friday night. I stumbled upon a Forever 21 gift card in my wallet (lucky find), so I’m going to treat myself to a new dress for the party–my first since the implant exchange surgery!

Well, I’m signing off. It’s bed time! Now if I could just pry this giant sleeping baby off of my lap…

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I’m sorry Bryce, I had to do it. You just look too cute in that onesie.

I’ve been nominated!

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This morning I woke up to a lovely email informing me that someone out there nominated me for a Grammy award Rookie of the Year award in the WEGO Health Activist Awards! The award is for “a Health Activist who came on the scene in 2012 but has inspired the entire community.” Well…my blog emerged onto the Interwebz scene in March 2012, so that part’s definitely right–and hopefully I’ve inspired you all a teensy little bit, too!

By clicking the link below and completing the very short form (you just need to enter your email), you can “endorse me” for the award and share your endorsement on Twitter or Facebook.

Click here to endorse me for the Rookie of the Year Award!

I’m not sure who nominated me, but thank you! It really did make my morning.

New blog post to come shortly, covering the shifting of my implants (ooooo–Festekjian was right after all!) and my first physical therapy session. Happy Thursday, everyone!