Let me start this post with a warning: Dad, you might not want to read this. It’s about me…shopping…for clothes. (“But why do you need more clothes?!” I can hear the groans from miles away.)

We’re more than halfway through April and I live in Los Angeles. Temperatures are steadily rising, and twenty-somethings are shedding their winter coats. It’s officially sundress season. And let me tell you, I need a new sundress—desperately. My current collection is becoming old, worn, and ill-fitting. I want a dress that is long enough to wear to the office, but that isn’t overly formal.

I received a few gift cards for my birthday, so on my lunch break yesterday I ventured to the 3^rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica to hit up the haven of cheaply priced colorful goodness known as Forever 21. I love Forever 21. Every time I go in there it looks different. There is so much selection and it is so inexpensive. It’s the perfect place for getting out of your fashion comfort zone.

After twenty minutes of rack-searching, I headed to the fitting room with six sundress options. The results? UGH.

Shopping after a mastectomy sucks!!!!

Dresses that would normally work for me, such as an empire-waisted frock, look awkward now. I can’t fill out the top of those dresses, so I have to try a smaller size; but when I go smaller, my hips and tummy don’t fit!

Trying out a style with less support around the bust doesn’t work, either: having smaller breasts makes everything else appear bigger, so although I may fit into a dress, I feel fat in it.

These are three of the Forever 21 dresses I tried on yesterday. I liked the one on the right the most but still didn’t buy it.

There were two dress options that were EH. They didn’t look bad on me, but I wasn’t in love with them. In the end I left dress-less (though I did buy a really cool soft bra!). I didn’t like the dresses that much and Forever 21 clothes tend to shrink, quickly taking them out of the office-appropriate zone.

But I still really want a sundress! So now I have a dilemma: do I go to a nicer store such as J.Crew and buy a more expensive dress now, or just wait a few months? The problem with buying any dress or top now is that it might not fit me in two or three months when I get my silicone implants. At the moment, my tissue expander breasts are probably around a small B cup. Tomorrow I get my second saline fill; they will probably become a large B cup. Next week they could be a small C…and you get the picture. I’m probably going to end up with something that looks like a D cup (about my size before surgery).

It’s frustrating. I like to shop, but I need to be fiscally responsible. It doesn’t make sense to blow money now on items that might not work in a few months. But…meh! I want a sundress!

I think the key to shopping successfully after a mastectomy but before the final reconstruction surgery is to look for more loose and relaxed styles that one can “grow into.” For me, tight items will look awkward now and will definitely not fit in a few months. I want to avoid dresses that are too shapeless, such as large smock or sheath styles, because then I might feel frumpy and look like I have something to hide. I think that an A-line style with a belted drop-waist could be my best solution.

What do you think? Any suggestions?

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